'Get over it'

If you are being told that you shouldn't still be upset about something, to 'get over it', by a friend, a partner, a family member...and every time you think about it makes your stomach drop and you try and push it from your mind as you have been told to do. To 'move on', to not be so sensitive, to be over it by now. 

Know your feelings are valid. You feel what you feel. Your experience is yours, and your reaction in heart and mind comes from a series of messages you have been told as you've grown up, through social media, by those around you. 

Just because others don't recognise how you feel, won't sit with their own discomfort or don't want to , or don't know how to give you space to acknowledge it loud - it doesn't mean it shouldn't be. 

Acknowledge it to yourself, pause in the moment and recognise that feeling has come back to you. Give yourself the kindness to recognise it is there. Whatever other messages are flooding your mind, allow yourself to hear and feel your pain. 

Why not identify a friend who you think may understand, or write in a journal, make notes in your phone. The act of doing this acknowledges these feelings to yourself that they are real, they hurt. You may not understand them; but giving them room to be present, to acknowledge their existence may in itself give you some validation and peace in the acknowledgment that they are there.

You could also speak to a counsellor, who will give you that space, the time for these feelings to be heard. They are yours to choose what to do with them, and sometime we need someone else to hear them, or see the words in front of us to assure us they exist, when we are being told they don't. 

Your Humble counsellor